Heavenly Body
by Shaud
Summary: Discovering his own gender was pretty easy for Steven. It was telling others about it that was hard to do. {Genderqueer Steven, don't like don't read.}
1. Wishing

It was a hot day in mid-June. The sun beat down on Beach City and covered the small city in a smothering of heat and humidity. This caused tourists and locals alike to cower away in their air-conditioned homes and restaurants. Even the arcade was closed for the day.

The car wash was open, though.

Greg Universe, the owner of the local car wash, sprawled out in a lawn chair in front of his business like normal. The alternative was to sit in his stuffy oven of a van, and he had figured long ago that sitting in the sun was better than a slow, sufficating death. He had a bucket of ice by his side, which was gradually melting.

He sighed and took another gulp of his soda. It had been a rather uneventful day. Not that he was complaining, really. It was rare that a day passed without much action or adventure or anything like that.

The sun slowly sunk down in the sky, and he finally closed the wash for the day. Maybe, if it wasn't as hot the next day, there would be more customers. Business was spotty in the summer weather; if it wasn't raining, they were in a drought. Both were bad for business.

He remembered with a smile that he and Steven were set to hang out that evening. Just him, his son, and a couple of guitars. Nothing better than that, in his opinion.

He slowly and calmly walked to his van while he strummed an air guitar. He had a killer new tune he wanted to run by Steven, and see if he could help with it. He loved the fact that Steven hadn't grown up to be as distant as most teenagers. At fifteen, Steven still thought it was 'cool' to hang out with his old man. Greg knew full well that could change, though. Not because of him, necessarily, but because that was how teens and young adults were. Everyone had to grow, and it would be shame on Greg if he went against that.

He hoped that time didn't come too soon, though.

As the sun began to set he drove along the edge of the beach. It hadn't changed too much, in all the years he had seen it. There was once a fence, but the beach was since free for anyone to use. And besides, with someone as friendly as Steven, it wasn't like a fence would do any good anyways. The boy was a generous spirit, just like his mother, something that brought joy and pain into his heart.

At least Steven had finally begun to understand that the others didn't hate him. There had been a rough patch a few years back, when Steven was still figuring out gem stuff. Greg hadn't known how to help a whole lot, something that always infuriated him. But Steven was a tough kid, and he had figured out most of his problems on his own. Those that he hadn't, he had gotten friends and family to help with.

Still, there was a lot that both Steven and Greg didn't know about when it came to gems. Powers, appearances, history, it all was lost to them. Well, particularly to Greg.

Greg chuckled at his own thoughts and slowed the van to a stop. He kicked open his door and climbed out with a smile on his face. He turned to the house and began to walk up the front steps. The gems were out for the evening, so it would be just him and Steven. The gems had grown fonder of him as time went on, or at least he thought they did. They no longer seemed to see him as a simple human, at the very least, and that was really all he could hope for. He wasn't very smart, but he had still managed to drive his van into their hearts.

"Hey, Steven, you in there?" Greg pulled the screen door open and stepped into the house. A sound in the kitchen made him turn, and what he saw made him freeze in his steps.

Steven was his child. One half of his DNA-theoretically. He was also half space-rock, though, something that Greg never forgot. He was a boy with a big grin and an even bigger heart. On and on the list went, and Greg assured himself of all of the things he knew Steven to be. His heart beat weirdly in his chest, and he gazed at the scene in front of him with conflict in his heart.

In front of him stood, well, danced, a young woman. Her curly hair was brown and had pink streaks in it, and she was just a bit shorter than Steven usually was. Her hair was slightly tapered down by overly large headphones, which he could hear blasting... Pat Benatar? _Nice_.

The person in front of him turned, and immediately halted her dancing. Her-his?-face lit up a bright red, and she sputtered once before taking off the head phones quickly.

"D-Dad!" Her forceful and sudden actions knocked a plate off of the counter, and it landed with a loud crash. She winced and turned to him, a fearful and guilty look on her face. Over the plate, or... the other thing, he didn't really know. And that kind of hurt him.

He didn't know why Steven looked like that. If it was a mission, a game, an experiment, he just didn't know. But he hoped that Steven would tell him, and that he would be included in the things that went on in his life. He began to doubt just how close they really were, and if this was a regular thing that he just didn't know about. A ball of hot-white resentment bubbled up in his chest, but he squashed it down.

"Steven? That really is you, isn't it?" Greg chuckled awkwardly and rubbed the back of his head. His son had turned into a girl? Greg had long ago learned that Steven could shape-shift, and the boy had gotten good at it in the past two years especially, but he had never seen him... her...? "That's..._ new."_

"Uh, yeah..." Steven cringed and glanced around the room nervously. He quickly shifted back to his 'normal' form, and glanced at the clock. Greg watched, mesmerized, as the woman in front of him slowly melted back into the familiar shape of his son's body. "Wow, haha, must have lost track of time!" Steven gave his dad an awkward grin and rubbed the back of his head.

"Must have, the sun just set. How long have you been jammin'?"

"Since lunch, I think."

"I see."

The two stood there in an awkward silence for a few moments. Steven began to sweat a bit, and Greg felt like his tongue was glued to the roof of his mouth.

"What were you-"

"I was just-"

They stopped as the both realized that the other also wanted to talk. They shared a nervous chuckle. Greg realized that their current position was far too confrontational, and that they should go somewhere else to talk.

"How about we go set up the van? We can talk more there." Greg offered as a means of neutral benefit. Steven nodded with a smile, and the two set out towards the vehicle, both panicking internally the whole way.

The walk there was silent, as was the setting up of the guitars. Greg watched Steven carefully out of the corner of his eye for a while, but the boy didn't seem to want to talk. Instead he sat there with a pensive look on his face. Greg wanted nothing more than to help, but once again he didn't know how. And it hurt him, to see his kid like that.

"So..." Greg smiled and tried to start the talk, "Pat Benatar, huh?"

For some reason, that seemed to be the straw that broke the camel's back, and Steven sat up straight. He looked his dad in the eyes, and though his voice was shaky, it carried conviction.

"Gems don't have genders like most humans do. The ones on Homeworld are all the same, and not like on Earth where there are all kinds of genders. They all present feminine, though. That confused me for a long time, and it still does, but now it's like... I can kind of see why? Because when I think of feminine things I think of Pearl, and Garnet, and Mom, and Connie, and all kinds of others, and it just feels _right._"

His face burned red as he babbled on, and Greg did his best to keep up. So far he got the basic point, or at least he hoped so.

"I think of them as being strong and amazing. And most-most of the time, I feel like that as me, just Steven. But sometimes I just feel... Funny, being called a boy. I don't think it's wrong, but sometimes it just doesn't seem _right_. So... So earlier I shape-shifted-that's what you saw, of course-just... just to see what it would be like as a girl."

Steven laced his fingers together over the edge of the guitar. His face held worry and shame, and it made Greg's heart ache. He set a hand on Steven's shoulder in a comforting manner and gave the boy a small smile.

Greg didn't fully understand what his son was going through, but that didn't mean he didn't want to help. He didn't know a lot about gems, or gender, or anything like that, but he knew Steven. Or, at least, he thought he did.

"Steven, I may not know what you're going through, but I do know you. And if I know anything about you, it's that your're amazing at knowing right from wrong." They shared a small smile before Steven glanced away. "Now, c'mon, talk to me. Do you like being a girl better?"

Steven was quiet for a few moments. Greg sat patiently and waited for his son to speak, despite the nerves and doubts running through his head. He had never had anything against queer people; he knew it wasn't his place to judge someone based on their gender, or their orientation. But he knew that others didn't react the same way. People were cruel, and someone like Steven would be eaten alive in the wrong circumstances.

He worried for Steven. He knew Steven could handle something like his gender fine, but Greg didn't think the boy could handle the opinions of others. At least not at first. And just how far would that gender thing go? Would Steven want to _always_ be a girl? Sometimes? Was it a one-time thing?

He had so many questions, but the look on Steven's face said the kid had questions, too. And Steven deserved the answers first.

"I don't know." Steven sighed, "I mean... I liked it today, but what if tomorrow I don't? What if I change too much, and people don't take me seriously?" He looked up at his father with large, sad eyes, and Greg was at a loss for words.

"Steven..." The older man said softly, "It doesn't matter what other people think. It's your gender-and your sex. It's not for other people to decide for you." He sighed and leaned back on his hands. He gazed up at the sky with a pensive look before he continued, "You're special, Steven, in so many ways. The ones that love you will understand that. And everyone else? Forget about them. As long as you're comfortable with yourself, I think that's the important part."

Despite his own words, Greg still worried for Steven. He wasn't about to tell him to stop, or how to act, but part of him wished the situation never happened. That Steven wasn't _like that_, because his life would be _easier_. He knew those thoughts were wrong, but he didn't want to lose his son... his _child_... like he had lost so many others.

"...Stevie..."

"Huh?"

"I like Stevie better." Stevie smiled, "It seems right, don't you think?"

Greg chuckled and ruffled Stevie's hair. "Sure does...?" He wanted to call Stevie 'son,' but suddenly that didn't seem to be the right thing to do.

"Hn..." Stevie hummed, "Well... I feel more... feminine?" Stevie cringed.

"Whatever you're comfortable with, kiddo." Greg said as he looped his arms around his child. He paused for a moment as something occurred to him. "Have you told Connie about this yet?"

"Uhhhhh _noooooo_..." Stevie blushed a bright red, and the two shared a small laugh. "I guess she's the next step."

"That would probably be the wisest choice." Greg chuckled, "Women hate being the last to know things."

"Especially _Connie_."

"Yeah." Greg kept an amuse look on his face as he realized Stevie was just all around queer, and yet he had still been surprised by the situation. Perhaps later, when he reflected on it, he will see it had been obvious. Or maybe it was never anything, that it was just something that happened. But for that moment, he just enjoyed the rest of the night with his kid.

Stevie loved showing off _her_ female body, and was so proud and beautiful that it made Greg's heart soar. He realized that Stevie had plenty of friends and family that would protect her, should anyone give her trouble. And it made him feel a lot better knowing that she would be safe and happy as she was. He hoped that Connie would be understanding, and that the gems would give Stevie the support she would need.

He gazed up at the sky later that night, and remembered the first time he had met Rose Quartz. She had seemed like a wish come true, as had Stevie years later. He had a family; a small one, but a family none the less. And it made him happy.

When a star streaked by in the sky later that night, he didn't bother making a wish.

He had everything he wanted.


	2. Secret

Stevie didn't like keeping secrets. It was never something she was good at, and she certainly didn't think it was right to do unless the situation was dire.

She wondered if _her_ situation was dire.

Connie grinned as she dragged her from game to game at the arcade. Normally the other girl wasn't big on the arcade, but they were celebrating that night. It had been six years since they first started being friends, something they both thought of as one of the best things to happen to them. A night out, games, dinner, and a movie, was what both of them had agreed would be the best way to spend their time together.

Stevie also decided that, at some point that night, she would tell Connie about her... _changes_.

It wasn't something she had been looking forward to. Connie was a great friend, and Stevie was afraid of loosing her, though she doubted that would happen. What mattered most to her was keeping Connie, of course, but there was also something else. She blushed as she pondered something else: Would Connie date her? Would Connie be interested in her as a boy _or_ a girl?

It scared her to think that Connie would reject her in any way. It was made even more difficult because she didn't know how to say it. With her dad words had just come out on their own accord; she didn't think before she spoke, and it was clumsy and awkward. She didn't want that to happen in front of Connie, too... It would be embarrassing. But she didn't know how to say it. She didn't even know what to say. _Oh, hey, I'm a girl now, but only sometimes. Also my name is Stevie..._?

Sure, it may have worked, but it was so simple. She felt like something like that had to be done up, delivered carefully with a bow and ribbon. Maybe that wasn't necessary, but it was the only way she could think of. And considering it was Connie, she figured she had to sound like she knew what she was talking about. Connie wasn't a bad person, but she used someone's uncertainty to her advantage. If Stevie said she was unsure, or didn't know, Connie would wonder out loud about it until Stevie was _definitely_ not sure.

Connie called it a "character flaw."

"Steven?" Stevie looked up at the name, "Are you okay? You seem... Out of it." Connie's concerned voice snapped her out of her thoughts, and she smiled.

"Yeah, I'm fine!" Stevie grinned, "Just excited about the movie, is all!"

"Oooh, so am I." Connie nodded. She glanced up at the clock on the wall. "We could start going now, so we can make sure we get good seats."

"Sure!" Stevie followed Connie as they headed towards the exit. "I've heard a lot of good things about this movie. I hear it's really cute!"

"Same!" Connie nodded, "I heard it's really funny, too. I've been looking forward to seeing it."

They walked in a comfortable silence, and Stevie thought back to the other night, when she had spoken with her dad. She was still confused on a lot of things, so naturally her dad was as well. By the end of the night, though, they had reached an understanding. Stevie would keep her dad in the know, and he would be there to talk. She smiled a bit, and felt warm inside at the fact that her dad cared so much about her. She had been scared to tell him, because she didn't know if he would understand. Well, he didn't understand, but he still loved her, at least. That was good, too.

"You seem really quiet tonight. Is it _really_ just the movie?"

Stevie paused in her thoughts and smiled a little. Connie knew her well, and took her silence as there being something on her mind. Which was true. She wasn't exactly sure how, or when, to tell Connie. Was right then the best time? After the movie? Never?

No, she had to tell her some time. She couldn't hide from her friend like that, she couldn't lie.

"Well, there _has_ been something on my mind... _You_." That wasn't a lie, and Stevie grinned at Connie's surprise.

"M-me?" Connie smiled a bit as a blush covered her cheeks. "What about me?"

"Just... you in general." Stevie shrugged and tried to wave it off in an effort to tease her friend. It worked, and Connie raised a curious brow.

"Oh... I see... And what about me 'in general'?"

"Your nose." Stevie smirked as Connie brought a hand up to her nose. She hated the way her nose looked, though she wouldn't admit it. "It's really cute."

"C-cute?" Again with the surprised look. Connie looked at Stevie in wonder. Stevie couldn't help but feel a surge of happiness at the look.

"Eeyup." Stevie grinned. "You're pretty cute, 'in general.'"

"O-oh." Connie smiled. "Well, you're pretty handsome, 'in general.'"

_Here's my chance._

"You think so?" Stevie rubbed the back of her head with her left hand, "I think I look cute, too."

"Oh, you are." Connie nodded, "Very cute. And maybe a bit conceited."

Stevie laughed at the jab and nodded. "Oh, yeah. Sometimes I even look downright _pretty_."

"Uh-Yeah, I suppose you do." Connie was confused, but she continued to smile as Stevie did. "Beautiful, even."

Stevie's heart fluttered. Connie thought she was beautiful? Even when she thought she was a boy?

She continued hopefully in the direction in which she thought would be best. "Sometimes I think I'm so beautiful, I could be a _girl_." Of course that wasn't the only reason, and it pained her to say it so simply, but she needed to open the door and step her foot into the _real_ conversation.

However, the conversation didn't continue right away. Connie went quiet for a moment. Stevie wondered what the other girl was thinking, and it made her slightly anxious. What if she offended her? Had she said it too wrong? Would Connie laugh? She felt her stomach drop at the thought.

Sure enough, Connie_ did_ laugh. It was a little chuckle, something tentative and unsure. The sound made Stevie uneasy.

"Maybe not that beautiful. You're still a boy." Stevie couldn't see Connie's face, since it was turned away from her, but the tone scared her. She felt a deep fear prickle at the back of her neck and in the pit of her stomach.

There was something wrong.

"C-Connie, hey-I was just kidding." Stevie chuckled nervously and backed down from her comment. The lie-along with Connie's words-stung, and left and aching in her heart. She would lose Connie. She couldn't go through with it. She looked up as they finally reached the movie theater, and quickly bought the tickets. The silence was awkward as they walked into the cool, dark theater.

Stevie sighed as they found their seats, though she kept quiet. Connie's rejection hurt, and she felt tears spring to her eyes as the situation began to crash down on her. Of course Connie rejected her. She loved Steven, not Stevie. If Stevie came out to her, it would be like taking away Steven from her, and she couldn't do that. Connie deserved better than her.

She could only hope Steven _was_ better.

Connie said she had to go to the bathroom, and left not long after they sat down. Stevie whispered something about not missing the previews, but the other girl didn't acknowledge her. Stevie sunk back in her seat and watched the previews with disinterest.

Stevie _couldn't_ be good enough for Connie. Maybe _Steven_ wasn't even the best for her. That scared her, too. If Connie decided she didn't want either of them...

Her dad had been right. Others wouldn't understand. But, maybe eventually Connie would. Maybe one day Connie could meet Stevie. Maybe it would all be okay.

Stevie turned to Connie just as the movie started, and was about to say something when she realized...

Connie's seat was still empty.


End file.
